Behind the Eye of the Tiger

Disclosure

I am absolutely not qualified to teach the psychological principles we are about to discuss.

Seriously, I’m not kidding. But the reason behind my not being qualified to teach psychology is actually one of the lessons I’m hoping to convey with this book.

I’ve studied this stuff for decades. I know what works, and I know how and when to use it. But one of my personality traits is that I’m utilitarian – I care about (and therefore learn and retain) only that which I believe will have utility in my life. For example, I can read a business book and retain the three main concepts that will change my life, but often can’t remember the title of the book and only rarely will recall the author’s name.

As a result, for the past 35 years of studying psychological concepts – weapons of influence; personality traits; psychometrics; cognitive, conative and affective behavioral sciences; body language; eye movement indicators; and the like – I’ve retained only that which allows me to use the concepts effectively. And that is not nearly enough to teach them.

On the other hand, understanding the psychology of human interactions is critical when Stalking Tigers, because it arms you with the ability to predict many reactions before they occur and the ability to respond effectively to all the reactions you’ll experience.

Here I sit at St. Louis Bread Company. Laptop open. Fully caffeinated. Phone on silent and email turned off. Knowing that this stuff is important to your goals but unqualified to teach it to you.

So, I have decided to simply expose you to the various concepts and let you decide which ones warrant further study. But before we explore the concepts in “Behind the Eye of the Tiger,” please remember there are two sets of eyes to consider – the Tiger’s and yours. Your personality, intellect, affective and conative behavior, strengths, weaknesses, cognitive biases, hard-wired reactions, life experiences, and so forth, have as much impact on your ability to build relationships as do the same penchants in the Tigers you stalk.

The first step to knowing others is to know yourself. I hope the stories on the following pages demonstrate this and, if you aren’t already on a self-discovery journey, goose you into getting started. Of course, the interesting outcome of studying yourself is that you’ll learn about others as well.


That which doesn’t grow dies.


Grow or die. Easy choice, no?

Psychology

Considering that this book is about what goes on inside the heads of Tigers, I thought it would be best to start with a bit of an overview about psychology in general.

So, allow me to introduce Jessica Kuhn, St. Louis University graduate, majoring in psychology, with a passion and desire to teach.

After I explained to Jess what this book was about and she agreed to contribute to this chapter, we had lunch at a St. Louis deli and brainstormed a list of things our readers might want to know. A few weeks later, she sent me the following, which I am happy to share.

Psychology 101, by Jessica Kuhn

The thing about psychology is that it’s not an exact science. There are plenty of findings that tend to be true for most people, but there will always be exceptions to every rule. Not every person can be explained in black and white, so rather than explaining people, psychology instead aims to help explain and understand certain phenomena about people.

Likewise, knowing certain things about people can be helpful, but it also requires a certain amount of situational specificity. Each person, interaction, situation, etc., is different, and it’s up to you, the reader, to take the information we’re giving you and apply it appropriately, depending on your situation.

Social Preferences

In general, humans are social animals. This means that most people want and need to be around other people in a positive way to have the healthiest, happiest lives. Socially, people are drawn to others that are similar to themselves in philosophy and life experience. The phrase “Opposites attract” typically isn’t true when forming personal relationships because people want to interact with those who are most like them.


Similarities create social synergy,
but differences create business synergy.


These rules don’t apply as much in the business world, however, because most successful businesspeople know that it takes a variety of experiences for a company to succeed. When Stalking Tigers, it is often just as important to consider differences as it is similarities.

Persuasion

The common factor among these interactions is persuasion – something that happens daily in business (and in life). By simply trying to influence people’s attitudes in some fashion, you’re trying to persuade them to do something, think something or feel something. In the case of Stalking Tigers, your goal is to persuade Tigers to form relationships with you, so it’s important you know some key points about how persuasion works.

To be successful in persuasion, you need to be both credible and likable. To be credible, you must have expertise in an area, and you must be trustworthy. It is therefore important that your expertise be visible to the Tigers you seek. These days, that means using social media, blogging, speaking to an audience, writing articles for newspapers or books, and other forms of sharing your opinion with the public. If you expect to be credible, transparency is paramount.

The general determining factors for likability, however, are similarity and physical attractiveness. In Tiger Liaisons, Gill discusses the idea of finding synergy and building rapport. These actions go directly to the concept of likability, and are key components to building relationships.

Personality

In psychology, the area of personality is one of the most easily relatable subjects. Personality affects everyone simply because it explains exactly who every person is. For the last 20 years, the generally accepted components of personality are known as the Five-Factor Model, or “Big Five.” These five traits – in varying degrees in all of us – have a variety of category names, but in general they are: extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, emotional stability and openness. For each category, several adjective markers help explain:

  • Extraversion – talkative, assertive, outspoken
  • Agreeableness – sympathetic, kind, understanding, sincere
  • Conscientiousness – organized, orderly, practical, meticulous
  • Emotional Stability – calm, relaxed, stable, not anxious or insecure
  • Openness – creative, imaginative, intellectual

Numerous studies explain which types of people possess personality traits specific to each category. Combinations of these traits can better predict major life outcomes. For example, successful leaders in the business world have been best predicted to be rated high in extraversion, high in agreeableness, high in conscientiousness and high in emotional stability. By recognizing these traits and their characteristics, you can tailor your methods of connecting to your recipient’s personality. It is also important to note that anomalies exist in the business world, and they tend to garnish the spotlight, because they create controversy and turmoil wherever they go. These types of Tigers are unpredictable and volatile. Stalking them requires entirely different tactics. (Of course, you probably should stay away from them, because their reactions are less likely to help you in the long run anyway.)

Some generalities focus specifically on CEOs and their authoritative positions. CEOs tend to be more stable, competitive and socially competent than the average person, but they are also usually average in terms of intelligence. And rarely are CEOs described as “nice” or being “touchy-feely” people, which seems logical for people in charge of myriad things.

According to a white paper, titled “CEOs Aren’t Like Us” by Hogan Assessment Systems, there are three general subtypes of CEOs:

  • The Alphas – Dominant personalities, with high levels of ambition, usually the most driven people in a room; they succeed because of their charisma. They want the bottom line, but they’re also more open to risk. They’re usually the easiest of the three types with whom to connect and form relationships.
  • The Brains – Usually with above-average intelligence, they succeed because of their smarts and expertise. They are usually very composed, analytical, less outgoing and more interested in technical matters.
  • The Pragmatics – Extremely realistic and tough, less social and more reserved, these people are successful because they are sensible. They’re usually not swayed by other people’s feelings, but they don’t make hasty decisions. Some people consider this type of CEO to be hard to read.

One of the side effects of being a CEO is that other people seek to please them, which can involve sugarcoating truths and leaving things unmentioned. Knowing these things, if you want to connect with CEOs, you need to do your research. Finding out the types of people they are can help your approach, and being honest and genuine will help with your trustworthiness and credibility.

There’s rarely a step-by-step process that can apply to everyone, but with a little situational specificity and research, you’ll find talking with even the most important businessperson can be reasonably easy.

Lesson

Armed with an understanding of the psychology of important people leads us to some conclusions about what to do when you’re in the process of stalking the big cats:

Do your research. Find out to whom you’ll be talking, what people say of their personalities, how they handle their employees, what their publicly available opinions are, etc.

Form your approach. Use your findings to tweak your presentations to fit their styles. Remember, people like people that are similar to themselves.

Relax. People will take you more seriously if you seem confident and relaxed in your setting, because you’ll look like an expert.

Demonstrate integrity. Do not lie. Do not be insincere. Do not promise something on which you cannot follow through. Even if you don’t accomplish your goal now, you should never sacrifice your integrity, because you’ll burn a bridge. You’ll never know when you might get the chance to build the relationship again. Better to fail today and leave the door open for an opportunity tomorrow.

A huge thanks goes to Jessica for helping us out! If you want to learn more from her, you can find Jess on LinkedIn.

Empathy

Fred was “next up” when I entered his showroom, so he met me at the door with a smile, a handshake and an offer to help.

It was 1991.

I had survived my recent transition from residential remodeling (the profession in which I had grown up) to computer programming and was starting to make decent money again. Because pulling up to the office building in an old construction pickup was embarrassing, and with the paycheck starting to have renewed weight, I was itching for something bigger, something new.

“I’m interested in the 4Runner” was all it took to launch a six-week relationship with Fred, a Toyota sales rep, that began and ended with two lengthy conversations, with hardly a word shared otherwise.

As is the case for most people, I hear my parents’ voices inside my head, and in many ways those voices are inescapable. In one of those prisons of my upbringing are Dad’s words: “If you’re going to buy a new vehicle, drive it until it drops. Otherwise you’re just throwing money out the window.”

Regardless of whether Dad was right, I’m shackled with that attitude, so I knew at the time I’d be living with this auto-buying decision for a great many years. As a result, I uncharacteristically took my bloody time making this purchase choice.

Another factor that formed my relationship with Fred was a test-drive I had taken at the Nissan dealership earlier that week. The salesman would not let me test-drive alone, and just would not shut up. Every time I so much as glanced at a dial on the Pathfinder dash, he would launch into a soliloquy of features and benefits. So when Fred asked me whether I was ready for a test-drive, I said, “Absolutely, but only if I can take it out by myself.”

Fred handed me the keys.

For the following six weeks, I must have test-driven the 4Runner 20 times, and not once during that period did I see Fred, because whenever the receptionist called him to say, “Gill Wagner is here,” Fred’s response was: “Is he here to see me or the 4Runner?”

I can still remember the somewhat puzzled look on her face the first time she relayed my answer to Fred – “The 4Runner” – and relayed Fred’s reply back to me – “Give him the keys to the black one, he says.”


Lifetime relationships will result from putting
Tigers’ needs above your own.


There are bad salespeople, good salespeople and great salespeople. And if I were forced to choose one thing that separates them the most, I’d say empathy.

Bad salespeople have no empathy whatsoever. They treat sales as a contest to be won or lost. They view prospects as the enemies to be overcome … the liars to be manipulated … the amateurs to be educated … the obstacles in their way … the means to their own income ends.

Good salespeople are adept at listening to and reading their prospects, and then matching their communication, presentation, relationship and delivery styles to each individual’s needs. Their ability to empathize is the key to their building relationships with prospects that generate sales.

Great salespeople are those who take empathy to the level of caring more about helping the prospect make the perfect purchase decision than they do about closing sales. The result of this sacrifice of self-centeredness is more sales, but that’s the natural outcome of this authentic empathy, not the driving force that creates it.

Fred was a great salesperson who cared more about what I wanted – to love driving my vehicle for the next 20 or so years – than he did about what he wanted – to close a sale.

Control

“Gill says he’s going to buy a car today and this time he would like you to take a ride with him, if you’re free,” said the receptionist to Fred, the Toyota sales rep.

About four miles later, with Fred buckled comfortably in the passenger seat, I turned the 4Runner into the parking lot of Sunset Ford and parked it right next to its competition – the Ford Explorer.

“I’ll be right back,” I told Fred, as I headed into the showroom to find Ron, the Ford rep.

With each rep standing beside his respective vehicle, I began: “As you both know, I’ve been shopping these two vehicles for the past six weeks. Today I’m going to buy one of them. But before I do, I need clarification on a few questions about the differences between these cars. I wanted to ask you both at the same time, so I could avoid any confusion.”


The first step to gaining control is
being willing to give it up.


In the five ensuing minutes, Ron got as close to spontaneous human combustion as any person in my experience ever has. There was a moment when I swear the heat sizzled a few of the remaining hairs from the top of his head. I had taken away his control, and he didn’t know how to handle it.

Fred, on the other hand, was as cool as a cucumber and even went so far as to calm Ron a bit (more of Fred’s natural empathy at play).

Needless to say, I bought the 4Runner.

Three thousand miles later, when I brought the 4Runner in for its first oil change, I stopped in to say, “Hi,” to Fred. That’s when he thanked me for the trip I had given him to Sunset Ford a few months earlier.


“I have to admit, in 10 years of selling cars, I’ve never had anyone do that to me before. At first I was pissed, but then I realized I had created some of your confusion by not knowing my competition like I should have.

“I also realized there’s no way I can stop people from comparing makes and models, so I might as well help them as much as I can. Now when I go on test-drives with people, I ask them what other cars they’re shopping and suggest we stop in to compare the two side by side.

“I’m closing more sales than ever!”


There will be a time in every Tiger hunt when you feel like you’re losing control. Do not make the mistake of trying to take that control back, because doing so will make things worse. Instead, simply give up control and then use empathy to take it one step further – actually help the Tiger to achieve the goal that caused him or her to take control from you.

Commitment and Consistency

The day before I bought the Toyota, if you had asked me what vehicle I was considering, I would have told you an even-handed story of goods and bads:


“The Explorer has more power and is roomy, but the gas mileage is nothing to brag about, and the look is a bit boxy.

“The 4Runner has a cockpit feel I like and nice lines, but it isn’t going to win any races and can’t haul as much gear.”


The day after I made the purchase, however, if you had asked me about my decision, I would have told you two entirely different stories:


“The Explorer is boxy, heavy, has a ton of wasted space, is overpowered, gets crappy gas mileage, is rated poor by Consumer Reports on maintenance, and I didn’t trust the salesperson at the dealership.

“The 4Runner is sleek, came in exactly the color I wanted, fits me like it grew around me, gets great gas mileage, came with a tow package so I can haul whatever I want in my trailer, is rated number one by Consumer Reports on customer satisfaction for SUVs, and I completely trust the sales guy who sold it to me. In fact, I’d recommend Fred to anyone!”


Tigers spend their lives making decisions – launching a company, accepting a promotion, joining a board of directors, firing a troublesome executive, choosing a major vendor – and their subsequent actions are always consistent with those decisions.

Pay attention to the major decisions Tigers make. Apply some of that empathy you’ve perfected to anticipating the consistent decisions that are likely to follow. When you spot synergy, you can throttle up your relationship by adding value to your Tigers’ lives.


Immediately after we’ve made a decision is when our
actions
will be most consistent with that decision.


Every major decision begets a hundred minor decisions, and all the minor decisions will be consistent with the major one. Each is an opportunity waiting to be seized or leveraged.

Regression

John ran a national sales team that provided money and marketing programs to tablecloth restaurants. The team members had learned how to use the phone to set appointments with decision-makers and were adept at the patronage approach to building relationships, but they hadn’t created any new ways in the door for quite a while.

I was hired to do exactly that – figure out new methods the team members could use to generate conversations with Tigers who ran restaurants, so relationships could be built and sales opportunities could be identified.

I’m sure you’ve heard the adage “Timing is everything.” In this case, that was certainly true, because my 20th anniversary was approaching as I began this project. About five minutes after I realized the synergy, 2,000 people I knew in St. Louis received the following email:

This is a secret, so don’t tell Cindy. Okay?

Our 20th anniversary is six weeks away, and I want to surprise her with the finest eating experience in St. Louis. I don’t care about the cost, only the WOW factor.

If you were her husband and wanted to blow her away, what restaurant would you choose?

Within the week, I had 750 responses received and tallied, complete with rankings and testimonial quips.

Armed with this report, I placed phone calls to executives at the top 20 most suggested restaurants. I told them who I was, that I was trying to do something special for my wife, that I had asked 2,000 people in St. Louis for their recommendations, and that their restaurants were in the top 20.

Then I added, “What I’m really after is something unique … something special … something you’ve never done for anyone before. I don’t know what it is, but I’m sure I’ll know it when I see it. Would you be willing to meet me at your place sometime in the next week, so we can chat about this and figure out something that works?”

Eleven of the 20 Tigers with whom I spoke agreed to meet with me and talk it through.

Alec, owner of Aqua Vin, a formal eatery for eclectic palates, was the first meeting in my calendar. Alec and I were to meet at 2 p.m., after the lunch rush had abated. In normal fashion for me, I arrived 20 minutes early and was told it would be a while before Alec could join me. I opted to take a seat at a booth and ordered some coffee and a dessert.

When Alec arrived, I was still enjoying my treat, so he promptly sat down and asked a waitress for a cup of coffee.

Pleasantries were exchanged. My celebration story was retold. And then I added, “I have the results of my informal poll if you would like to see them.”

“Absolutely!” Alec enthusiastically replied.

As I slid the list to Alec, something happened for the first time that I would soon see happen in Memorex fashion with every owner I met.

The list was organized based on most highly recommended restaurant on top, going down from there. Alec placed his finger on the list and quickly scanned downward until he found “Aqua Vin” and learned that his establishment had received 11 votes. From there he panned upward and, with every name on the list, said some form of “I can’t believe they got more votes than we did.”

After his short and painful process of determining who had beaten Aqua Vin, Alec panned back down the list past his restaurant and, pointing to competitor after competitor, said things like, “Good,” “I’m glad we beat them,” and “Ha!”

Here I sat, across the table from a Tiger in the St. Louis culinary world – a man salespeople throughout the area would love to meet. Watching him regress emotionally to a child on the baseball field who was miffed that Johnny was chosen first, but strutted about having been picked before Billy.


If you want a relationship with the Tiger, get to know the cub.


Seizing the moment, I instantly switched to interview mode and proceeded to learn the story of Alec – how he and his partners split from another chain on my recommended-restaurants list, how his father had been in the restaurant business, how he earned his childhood money bussing tables, and much more.

Alec then took me on a tour of Aqua Vin, which included a trip through the kitchen and introductions to the hostess, chef and manager. And fully engaged in the spirit of strutting their stuff, all the team members walked the restaurant imagining all the ways they could create the special experience I sought.

Over the next few weeks, I replicated the Alec conversation in the top restaurants throughout St. Louis. Each owner was as competitive as the last, as cub-like as Alec and as willing to share his or her story. All were thrilled to give me guided tours of their kitchens and introduce me to their chefs.

By simply tapping into the inner cubs of these Tigers, I built a relationship with each one of them. That allowed me to learn what I needed and to develop several methods my client’s salespeople could use to get appointments, build relationships and explore business opportunities with restaurant owners.

And Cindy got the best dining experience of her life – at Aqua Vin.

Commanders

Patrick was that rare breed of nerd who could spend hours enthralling a group of pocket-protected peers, then walk across the hall and explain the most complex information technology to a board of directors without putting anyone to sleep.

As a natural information conduit, Pat was sought after by people of all levels within the organizations for which he worked. As a result, he had experienced pretty much every manifestation of personality quirk known to man and developed a highly refined skill at conversing with the most aggressive Tigers in business.

David was the managing partner of his 35-attorney firm. Pat had been hired by a different partner to conduct an information technology audit and create a five-year technology growth plan that would keep the firm at the leading edge of capabilities, given its size and budget. Pat had been interviewing attorneys and staff members for two weeks, all the while trying to get in front of David.

In typical Tiger fashion, David (through his executive assistant, of course) had set and then moved his appointment with Pat eight times in that two weeks. But Pat staid the course. Having experienced the “I’m important; you’re not” syndrome many times before, Pat was well-versed in the etiquette of the subordinate and was happy to acquiesce to David’s need for power, because he knew it was the only way to gain access to the information inside the man’s head.

Finally with calendars in synch and fully prepared to encounter a driving personality, Pat was shown into David’s office for his 30-minute meeting.

If not for Pat’s naturally calm style, he might have laughed out loud at the absurdity of what he saw.

Allow me to paint you the picture:

David’s office was at least five times as long as it was wide, with the door through which Pat entered at the far end of one long wall.

Immediately in front of Pat – and obviously where he was to sit – were two broken-down “kiddy” chairs crowded up to the same type of folding table to which most of us were relegated as small children when the family dinner table was a tad too crowded.

Fully 25 feet away sits David in his high-backed, leather office chair, smoking his banded cigar behind his oversized, over-ornamented desk.

Between Pat’s card table and David’s desk sat 20 feet of prestigious tables, desks and credenzas – all crammed together to support a sea of computer monitors, client files, boxes, envelopes and other proof of David’s power and prowess.


To get what you want, give Tigers what they want.


Armed with 25 feet of physical insight into the commander personality that imprisoned the firm’s managing partner, Pat did exactly what he needed to create a relationship bound for success: He pointed to the two kiddy chairs and asked, “Where should I sit?” David pointed to the one closest to pat and smiled.

Commanders are all about control. The best way to engage them is to give them the control they seek.

Performers

Where commanders are about control, performers are about competition.

Mark

Mark was one of two partners at a very successful information technology company. He was also a lawsuit waiting to happen.

You know those gag-gift blow-up dolls wearing teddies? I once walked into Mark’s office to talk with him about a project I was managing. He was sitting at his desk, and out from under the front of the desk stuck the legs of one of those dolls.

Mark looked up from his computer without missing a beat, engaged in a serious, five-minute conversation with me about my project, thanked me for stopping by and turned back to his computer as I left. He later told me I was the only person who stopped by that day who didn’t comment, and added, “You’re good, Wagner, but I’ll find a way to get you next time.”

George

George is a public relations consultant. I bump into him every now and then at networking events and have virtually the same interaction every time. Holding out his hand with a smile on his face, his salvo goes like this:

“Hi, Gill. How are you? I just finished a project with Big Company A and am starting on Big Company B next week. Did you hear that my company won the Cool PR Company award? Hey, do you know Dropped Name One? I was having dinner with him, Dropped Name Two and Dropped Name Three last month when the subject of sales. I hope things are going well on that front. Oh, wait. I have to run. I just spotted Dropped Name Four and have been meaning to catch up. Great talking with you, Gill!”

Chris

Chris is visibly uncomfortable in even the smallest of groups unless he’s the one with the expertise and everyone else is there to learn it. He is also one of the best trainers I’ve ever met.

Linda

Linda almost can’t function unless she’s literally or figuratively on stage. Linda sells for one of the largest computer companies on the planet and hasn’t lost a single sales contest in the past 15 years.

Lee

Lee worked well into his 70s, including turning around a Fortune 500 company, and probably sat in on 200 meetings a year for 50 years. If truth be told, Lee probably never truly heard a word uttered by anyone but Lee.

Tim

Tim built four incredibly successful businesses. I’ve known him for 15 years. We’ve shared coffee and strategized at least 20 times. I’ve made dozens of connections for him that resulted in closed deals and hired employees. I’ve given him insights into his business models and helped him solve problem after problem after problem. Yet whenever Tim and I bump into each other, the first words across his lips are about the time I beat him at a round of golf and how we need to get back on the course so he can have another chance.

 

Performers live for the spotlight and love to compete. You can recognize them easily by the trophies on their walls, the names they drop, the strength in their handshakes and the eye contact they refuse to be the first to break.

Contrary to what you may think, building relationships with performers is not about letting them win. It’s merely about your willingness to compete. And the beauty of dealing with performers is you will always know where you stand.

Authority

Jim had been stalking Andrew for months – many months – and he finally got a lunch meeting on Andrew’s calendar.

One of the nuances about Andrew that Jim had gleaned during his hunt was the attitude that many Tigers exude: “My time is valuable … Show an appropriate level of appreciation for the time I’m giving you … Don’t you dare waste my time.” So being an intelligent sort, Jim not only prepared for the conversation to the point of absurdity, he arrived a full 30 minutes early just to be sure.

“Andrew isn’t here yet, but let me show you to his table,” said the concierge. Jim followed her through the restaurant, making note of the high quality of the place and of the successful looking patrons who seemed to be enjoying it.

And that’s when he noticed it – sitting prominently in the center of the table, a gold-plated, engraved reservation nameplate emblazoned with Andrew’s full name.

Partially impressed, somewhat apprehensive, a bit excited, Jim waited 45 patient minutes for his Tiger to arrive.

Drinks ordered and received, lobster bisque being thoroughly enjoyed and conversation going well, Jim still felt mired in the role of subordinate and was content to fill that role when he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder.

Looking up from his bisque, Jim was surprised to find the manager of the restaurant standing over him extending a hand and saying: “Thanks for coming in today. We always appreciate your business.”

Normally Jim would have stumbled in a situation such as this. But being somewhat bolstered by the bisque, he didn’t miss a beat. Giving the manager a firm handshake and looking him in the eye, Jim replied, “You bet. You guys always take care of me.”

Smiling at Jim and with a quick nod to Andrew, the manager walked away.


Perception is relationship reality.


“Do you come here a lot?” Andrew asked.

“Often enough,” replied Jim.

And suddenly two peers began enjoying a meal and building a relationship that would benefit both.

In hindsight, of course, Jim realized the manager’s error – he obviously mistook Jim for the customer with the engraved nameplate since Jim had arrived first. But that reality has far less power than the perceived reality the mistake had generated. The moment Andrew perceived himself as sitting with a person of authority is the moment he treated him as a peer.


Authority is internal, not external.


You don’t need a happy accident of mistaken identity to be on equal authority footing with the biggest Tigers in the jungle. All you need is the knowledge that you have value to offer in every relationship you generate, the attitude that supports that knowledge, and the belief that you are anyone’s peer.

Your perception of your own worth and value is the reality you create for the Tigers in your life.

What’s your perception of you?

Reciprocation

XXXXXXX

Likability

Amanda

I was in Austin, Texas, with a client. It was the second Tuesday of the month, which is the usual night for the business-networking event put on by Yellow-Tie (one of my companies). Since I was unavailable, Cindy (my better nine-tenths) had to manage the event and handle the name tags on her own.

I called Cindy that evening – feeling a bit guilty and a lot appreciative – to see how things were going. After a brief report, Cindy added, “I just met this amazing young woman named Amanda. She’s looking for a job in sales, and when you get back to St. Louis, I want you to meet with her and see whether you can help her.”

The following week Amanda and I shook hands at a local coffeehouse, where she shared her story.

Amanda was born and raised in Sikeston, Mo. – a town of approximately 40,000 residents – and earned her college degree only a few miles from home at Southeast Missouri State University. Speaking fluent French and with a burning desire to experience that culture, she had spent two years abroad after graduation.

Once Amanda returned home, she relocated to “the big city” of St. Louis to seek her first job in sales. During the six months before meeting Cindy, Amanda had sent her resume to about 500 companies, had gotten 20 or so interviews, and had received exactly zero job offers.

She asked for my puzzle-solving help.

Remember the story about Fred above where we discussed empathy? How about we practice a bit of that now?


Exercise
Your company wants to hire a new salesperson and has posted the job opening everywhere. You have been tasked with weeding through the masses of candidates. It’s 8 a.m. You have a fresh cup of coffee in hand and have just walked into your office to see a stack of 500 resumes waiting on your desk.

You pull out your chair, sit, cozy up to the desk, take a sip of coffee, inhale deeply, exhale slowly and take the first resume off the top of the pile.

As you scan the resume, what one thing are you looking to find?


Before I give you my answer, let me add that I’ve asked this question probably 50 times in one-on-one sessions with people seeking employment (Amanda included), and almost every time I’ve gotten a similar response: “I’m trying to find qualifications that meet the job description.”

Not!

That answer fails to consider the reviewer’s efficiency problem. Simply put, every job description has 10, 20, perhaps more qualifications – mandatory and preferred. To find one resume that fits all of them is an arduous task, because you must compare every requirement to every qualification, until the two lists match.

Remember, you’ve got 500 of these things to review. Keeping that in mind, which is more efficient: 1) looking for myriad alignments to keep the resume in; or 2) looking for the one reason to throw the resume out?

Amanda and I concluded it was much more effective to scan for the one reason to throw the resume out. We then brainstormed ways to flip things to Amanda’s advantage, asking the question: “How can we persuade the reviewer to look for the one reason to keep her resume in?”

The idea also had to work no matter the job description, so changing the details of Amanda’s experience and education was not an option.

We then asked ourselves: “Why would someone want to meet Amanda even if her resume wasn’t a perfect fit for the job?” To answer that, we asked: “Why did Gill want to meet with Amanda today?”

A-ha! Gill is meeting with Amanda today because Cindy liked Amanda.

We had to find a way for the reviewer to like Amanda without having met her. I suggested she tell me about herself in the most creative way possible. For example, how could we say “degree in anthropology” in a fun and attractive way?

Prior to this meeting, the first words on Amanda’s resume were “Seeking a position where …”

Following this meeting, the first section on Amanda’s resume was:

Amanda
Recent MBA graduate/job-hunting expert. I can sell. I can learn anything about your market you want to know. I can keep events from crashing and burning. I can motivate a crowd that speaks English or French. I can excavate (literally), and I can paint everything from walls to fine art. I can travel. I can stay. I can bartend when needed and will hula-hoop when asked! And I will do any or all of this to excel at my first job while I leverage my degrees in anthropology and international business. What more could you want in an employee? I am open to possibilities. Are you open to me?

During the next 30 days, Amanda sent her new resume – Amanda Paragraph and all – to 20 companies (many of which had already thrown her old one away), was called in for 12 interviews, received three job offers and accepted one.

 


All things being equal, people prefer to do business
with people they know, like and trust.

And the greatest of these is like.


If you were a busy Tiger and someone contacted you, would you be more inclined to respond to someone you liked?

Scarcity

Isaac Singer – the first person to patent a sewing machine – was one of the pioneers of franchising in the United States, with his first franchise effort launching in the 1850s. Franchising as we know it today gained prominence in the mid-1930s with the rise of franchise-based food operations.

In terms of buyer and seller, the franchisor is selling a successful business model, complete with brand, trademarks, business plans, business systems, vendor relationships, and so on. The franchisee, as the buyer, is seeking to own a business and maintain an equity stake, but to minimize the risk of creating that business from scratch.

For the first 125 years of franchising in the United States, the biggest challenge was convincing enough franchisees to buy. With few regulations in place, a great many scam artists gave the business model an undeserved bad name. And with the rise in numbers of franchise choices, buyers gained more and more control.

During the recession of the early 1970s, things got about as bad as they could be. So much so that there were approximately 100 franchisors for every potential franchisee.

If you were buying, you held all the cards. If you were selling, deals were few and far between.

You must remember this was the ’70s and the word “Internet” didn’t exist. So as a franchisor, your primary means of catching the attention of potential franchise customers were magazines, newspapers, radio and television. And your best method for being found in person was through the use of major franchise expos – where hundreds of franchisors would set up their booths, and every potential buyer in the area would filter by.

Talk about a meat-market atmosphere. Imagine being in one of those booths tasked with the challenge of selling your particular brand of “living the dream,” when row after row of choices were under the same roof.

I’ve been in sales for 50-plus years and have trained, coached, mentored and managed salespeople for the better part of that. Based on that experience, I can tell you for certain that in an expo situation like this, there is no sales tactic you can employ to set yourself far enough apart from the hundreds of competitors in the room. When sellers gather to hawk their wares in a buyers market, it’s simply a numbers game for the buyers.

Faced with that reality, Mike, one of the franchisors, decided to change the rules.

Pretend for a moment that you’re thinking about buying a franchise, and you’ve decided on food services as your perfect profession. Imagine yourself at an expo with 300 food-service vendors in the room, and it’s near the end of your first day of checking them out. Even considering the fact that you skipped a great many booths that didn’t seem to exude the quality you’re after, so far you’ve entered 42 booths, seen 27 presentations, said “I’m not ready to decide” 143 times, and survived the objection-handling tactics of the salespeople who have been taught “Don’t take no for an answer.”

You are committed to finding the perfect fit, however, so you continue the next day. That’s when you spot a franchisor with the image you seek. You walk in, introduce yourself to Mike, shake his hand and say, “Tell me about your franchise.”

Smiling, Mike replies, “We open only five new franchises every quarter, and only one in 50 applicants has what it takes to be accepted. Our goal at this expo is to gather 300 quality applications. Over the next month, we’ll go through them, choose the 20 best fits and, over the month or two that follow, whittle that list down to the top five. Yesterday we took in 270 applications, so there are only 30 slots left. Do you want to tell me about your goals, so we can determine whether filling out an application today makes sense for you?”

How do you feel at this moment?

With every other franchisor in the room, you were in control of the choice. You could stay, or you could go. You could buy, or you could say no. You could engage the franchisor now or wait to engage later. But standing in Mike’s booth, your choice is limited to either filling out an application now or losing your right to choose at all.

Mike revolutionized franchise sales by changing the choice paradigm. Rather than attempting to convince people to buy what he was selling and leaving all the choices with them, he reversed the roles. When people walked into his booth, he presented them with the opportunity to earn the right to be chosen.

Scarcity – “Only three tickets left,” “Sale ends today,” “This model is going out of production,” “I have all the applications I need” – creates an emotional reaction based on the loss of choice. And if there’s anything buyers hate more than being sold, it’s not being allowed to choose.

Whether Mike knew it was called the scarcity principle or not, he used it to influence the actions of the vast majority of people who walked into his franchise booth. Instead of attempting to convince prospects to buy, he made them convince him to sell.

As you hunt your Tigers, keep Mike’s example in mind. Most of the time, the Tiger will be in control of the choice – to take your phone call or not, to reply to your email or not, to accept your request to be linked or not. In fact, Tigers are usually in charge of all choices in their lives; so the loss of choice actually affects them more than it does other people. So if you keep your eyes open for it, every now and then you’ll spot a way to apply scarcity and switch the role of who gets to choose.

Social Proof

First, a bit of background.

Randy is a commercial banker with 20 years of experience who is looking for a position at a community bank closer to home.

Gus is in charge of commercial banking for a community bank with branches in Randy’s neighborhood. About three months ago, Gus interviewed Randy for an open position, but the two of them haven’t talked since, despite a few efforts by Randy to reconnect.

Lenny is a commercial banker at the same bank as Gus. Lenny has been working with my parents for nearly 40 years – financing the rental properties they developed over that time.

Lenny knows who I am and what I do for businesses throughout St. Louis, but mostly through his relationship with my parents. I can’t remember ever having actually spoken with him, but I may have bumped into him back in my remodeling days and just don’t remember. My parents have mentioned that on several occasions throughout the years, Lenny spotted one of my articles in a business journal or heard of an award I won and told them he was impressed.

BHAG Connectors is a group Randy directs in which I participate. (BHAG stands for “big, hairy, audacious goals.”) Group members meet every two weeks for two hours to do the hard work of connecting. So the vast majority of our activity happens during the meetings, rather than between.

I pick up the “social proof” story the morning of one of our BHAG meetings. We’ve been going around the room describing our goals and naming people we really want to meet, and helping get one another connected wherever we can.

It’s Randy’s turn to ask for help:

Randy: About three months ago, I interviewed with Gus, and I thought the conversation went really well. The bank’s got that perfect mix of “community” and technology I’m looking for. Gus and I got along great, but we haven’t spoken since. Of all the places I’m looking, this one’s the best – I REALLY want to work there. At this point, I just want to know whether I’m in the running, or whether I should look elsewhere. Are any of you connected to Gus or to anyone at the bank who might be able to help?

Each member of BHAG began to access his contact list, search his social media contacts, and so forth, but everyone except me came up blank.

Gill: Looks like I’m the only person even remotely connected. My parents have been banking there for years, and their banker, Lenny, kind of knows who I am, but I don’t think we’ve ever actually spoken. I’m happy to call him and give it a shot if you want me to.

Randy: Go for it.

After calling Mom and getting Lenny’s direct line, I dialed his number.

Lenny: This is Lenny.

Gill: Hi Lenny. This is Gill Wagner. You’ve been working with my parents, Joyce and Gill for years.

Lenny: Sure, Gill. How’s your mom doing? [Dad had died two years prior.]

Gill: Pretty good. She settled into her new routine and is getting out and about again. Thanks for asking.

Lenny: That’s great. What can I do for you?

Gill: Well, this is sort of a strange phone call. I’m actually calling to ask a favor I have no right to ask, in the hopes you’ll help me, if for no other reason than you’ve had a great relationship with my folks for so many years. The favor isn’t actually for me, though, it’s for someone else. And I totally get that you might not be able to help at all. May I tell you what I need?

Lenny: Sure.

Gill: I’m sitting here with my banker, Randy. You know I’m an avid connector of people, right?

Lenny: Yes, your reputation precedes you.

Gill: Great. Well, I connect people all the time, but I can actually count on one hand the number of people I’m willing to stake my reputation on. And Randy is on that list.

Lenny: Okay.

Gill: I’m calling because your bank has an opening for a commercial banker, and about three months ago, Randy interviewed with Gus, but he hasn’t heard back. What I’m hoping you’ll do is help me get Randy another interview with Gus, unless the position has already been filled.

Lenny: Gus’ office is actually right next to mine. I don’t know where he stands on filling the position, but I’ll tell you what I’ll do. As soon as we hang up, I’ll go tell him a businessman I respect in St. Louis just called and recommended Randy to the point of staking his own reputation on the guy. After that, it’s up to Gus what he’ll do. Will that work?

Gill: That’s more than I even hoped for. Thank you, Lenny.

Lenny: You’re welcome.

A short time after Lenny and I hung up, Randy’s phone rang. It was Gus, who was calling to apologize for not responding sooner, to tell Randy he had not yet filled the position and to set up a time to meet. Gus hired Randy two weeks later.

In layman’s terms, social proof is external evidence provided by other people. It’s the thing to which we look when facing a decision that helps us choose the best course.

Consumer Reports says this truck is rated highest, so you buy it; social media says the movie sucks, so you don’t attend; your neighbor says the contractor shingling his roof is a great guy, so you hire him; the chamber of commerce hired the speaker, so she must know her stuff – these are all results of social proof. We rely on it to both help us avoid making bad decisions and bolster our confidence in the decisions we’ve already made.

The business journals that printed my articles were the social proof Lenny needed for valuing my opinion and taking me seriously. The awards I’ve won over the years were the social proof he needed from the business community to consider me worthy of respect. My parents’ telling Lenny about my businesses were yet another form of social proof. Adding all of this together, Lenny had enough social proof to justify putting his own reputation on the line for someone he didn’t really know.

My call to Lenny and Lenny’s subsequent conversation with Gus were the social proof Gus needed to feel good enough about Randy decision to actually pick up the phone and invite him back in. (The rest was up to Randy, of course.)

Social proof helps us make the decisions we already want to make, because it reduces the risks associated with those decisions. Keep that in mind as you stalk Tigers, because the bigger the Tiger, the more he or she relies on social proof.

If I scoured the Internet for the story of you, what social proof would I find?

Communication Preferences

Cindy once worked in a typography department of about 20 women, all working on various aspects of proofreading and formatting copy that was written by project managers. Proofreading, as you can imagine, is a very analytical pursuit, whereas formatting hangs in the balance between being analytical and being creative.

A proofreader at the time, Cindy would share her day’s stories with me. Often she mentioned a particular coworker – let’s call her Rhonda – not in a bad light, but in one often cast in shadow. She simply couldn’t stand being in the same conversation with Rhonda, though she had no idea why. Rhonda was upbeat, creative and well-liked by many.

On a continual basis, the company offered self-improvement courses – like dealing with stress, or improving presentation skills. One day, Cindy saw a course about communication styles and signed up. Before the course, she was to submit surveys to a few people who knew her professionally, asking them to rate her on various psychological, behavioral and communication aspects. Those results (unseen by her) would be tallied for the first class, and the participants would be “sorted” into four “personality” groups, each depicted by an animal with similar traits – expressives (monkeys), amiables (pandas), analyticals (owls), and drivers (tigers).

Cindy wasn’t surprised at her own assessment; she was predominantly amiable, with strong analytical tendencies. What surprised her was how her group (amiables/pandas) interacted with the other three groups, especially the creatives (expressives/monkeys). Basically, they didn’t get along well, mostly because the pandas want a slower and quieter delivery, details, control and safety; monkeys, on the other hand, can seem flighty and imaginative, and often take risks, or skip from idea to idea.

When the instructor was explaining the communication styles of each group – and how they reacted to and interacted with one another – he hit on one thing that finally lit the bulb in Cindy’s head. He said, “Monkeys are so random sometimes that they don’t finish their sentences.” That was her issue with Rhonda! Not only did Rhonda not finish her sentences, she often didn’t finish her words – that’s what drove Cindy crazy!

Once Cindy understood the differences in their communication styles, she could get past them. She was able to converse with Rhonda on a completely different level – giving Rhonda more of what she needed, and overlooking the monkey traits that bothered Cindy before.

So, here’s the lesson: We all communicate differently. Okay, no surprise. But for you to be able to communicate with Tigers, you must understand their likes and dislikes, as well as your own.

Although not all Tigers fall into the same style, here are some traits of most:

  • They have an end-game in mind; they know their direction and how they want to get there.
  • They base decisions on logic – not emotions, gut feelings, abstracts or theories.
  • They tend to be impatient; they don’t like to be delayed.
  • They want it accomplished now, and without mistakes.
  • They tend to be in the present; the past doesn’t hold much importance to them.
  • They make decisions rapidly and don’t tolerate indecision in others.
  • They tackle obstacles immediately, and with power and control.
  • They are often to the point, without regard for feelings.
  • They seek to control the situation.
  • They are task-oriented.
  • They combine personal power with emotional control.
  • They like bullet points, not epic tales.
  • They give limited attention to business relationships and friendships.
  • They delegate, and do it efficiently.
  • They are realistic and practical.
  • They are faithful/loyal to their endeavors.
  • They are organized and like structure.
  • They are outgoing and sociable, since “what you see is what you get.”

Most people use more than one communication style, but one style will likely be more apparent than the others. So, depending on your dominant trait, here are some suggestions for dealing with Tigers:

If you are more of a driver, simply be yourself but dial it back a bit. Tigers are naturally attracted to other Tigers, but you want to avoid triggering the promoter inside if he or she exists.

If you are more expressive (envisioning the future and animating it for others; bouncing from idea to idea; expressing the moment with zeal; being creative; acting impulsively; and chasing squirrels):

  • Offer the Tiger actual results, not just enthusiasm or visions of what could be.
  • Demonstrate that your idea will work.
  • Be punctual and stick to the time allotted.

If you are more amiable (often getting involved in feelings and relationships; sticking with the comfortable; not liking risk):

  • Be businesslike; don’t try to create a friendship.
  • Limit your stories; get to the point.
  • Listen for your instructions.

If you are more analytical (living life according to facts and consistency; working tasks systematically; keeping things organized; and needing all the info before making decisions):

  • Offer bullet points, not a long story of your research.
  • Let the Tiger make the decision; don’t offer possibilities.
  • Present results according to monetary rewards.

The more you understand communication preferences and the roadblocks they can create, the faster you’ll be at navigating around those roadblocks and building the relationships with the Tigers you seek.

Posture

As Karen sat patiently in the reception area waiting for Robert, she scanned her plush surroundings. The building itself was well-known in the business community as a place where the most important Tigers quartered their companies. The entire campus was gated and guarded 24/7 by a crew that looked more like Secret Service agents than parking lot attendants.

The place was pretentious from the outside, to say the least. Bushes were perfectly trimmed. Grass patterned, thick and verdant. Architecture second-to-none, with no expense spared. And sitting in Robert’s reception area only added to the intimidation Karen was feeling. Original paintings adorning the walls. Marble-inlaid floor. Real plants flourishing even in the dimmest corners. A custom wall design that must have cost millions.

The receptionist herself was dressed as though she were about to chair the annual meeting of the United Nations. And although she had been accommodating when Karen checked in, even she seemed to have the attitude “Watch it” as she announced Karen and got her a cup of coffee.

Even though Karen had sold IT services for 20 years to some of the largest companies in the U.S., this seemed somehow different. It actually made her think of how people must feel when they walk into the Oval Office.

“Robert is ready for you. Please follow me,” the receptionist stated tersely, as she rose from her station.

Expecting a 30-minute casual conversation about the issues Robert’s company faced, Karen was shocked when she walked into the conference room to find Robert sitting at the far end of a 30-foot table flanked by 15 of his company’s executives.

Before she had a chance to utter a single word, Robert pointed to Karen’s end of the table, indicating that’s where she was to stand, and said, “Thank you for joining us today. You have 10 minutes. Please show us what you’ve got.”

Robert wielded posture built on years of experience and supported by the image of his company and the heavyweight real estate in which he had headquartered it. And he was used to leveraging that posture to keep salespeople where they belonged – 30 feet away at the foot of his kingdom, begging for business on his terms in front of his adoring team.

What Robert didn’t realize was Karen also had posture: “First, I think we have a misunderstanding, so I’d like to start by clearing that up. When I agreed to meet you here today, I understood that you and I would be having a private, 30-minute chat about what you need and what we do, so we could determine quickly whether it was a waste of time to spend the next few months hashing out how we might work together. While I am more than happy to present everything there is about our company at some point, doing so today would waste not only your time and mine, but all of theirs as well. Besides that, 10 minutes wouldn’t even scratch the surface.”

Counting off fingers, Karen went on: “So as I see it, we have three options. One, you and I can meet one-on-one today as I originally understood. Two, we can reschedule to a time when you have the 30 minutes I need. Or three, we can cancel altogether and go our separate ways.”

Then Karen politely asked, “What would you like to do?”

In the next five seconds of pin-drop silence, 15 mouths fell open and 15 heads turned from Karen to Robert. Robert then slowly smiled, looked around the table and told his minions, “Karen and I are going to spend the next 30 minutes figuring out how we can work together. Give us the room please.”

Posture between Tigers is a lot like force between magnets – it has negative and positive poles. The more you need a Tiger, the more you’ll push him or her away. But the less you need a Tiger, the more he or she will be drawn to you.

Volume is the key to both having real posture and developing internal posture. The fewer Tigers you stalk, the more you’ll need each one. But when you stalk dozens (or hundreds) at once, you’ll realize that no single conversation or relationship can make or break you. Armed with that reality, you’ll experience situations such as Karen did with Robert. Over time, you’ll develop your internal posture to the point where it no longer matters how many Tigers you hunt.

Ugly Stripes

Kathy felt uneasy as Phil sat down. They had met three days earlier at a business-networking event. At the time, Kathy felt Phil might be a great contact to know because he ran a 30-person financial advisory firm and she sold insurance. She had suggested a coffee-shop meeting to “get to know about each other’s businesses,” and he had agreed.

Being a woman in the sales world, Kathy had experienced her fair share of hidden agendas in casual meetings such as this. But something about Phil was different. This didn’t feel like a man-woman thing. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but it was there nonetheless.

Or was her radar dial simply too high?

Mentally shrugging her shoulders and giving Phil the benefit of the doubt, Kathy figured time would tell.

Coffee sipped. Pleasantries traded. Phil asked Kathy about her business and followed up with questions about how she got started and what roadblocks she faced.

Nothing wrong so far, she thought. He’s good at interviewing, as I would expect.

They chatted about sales, and Phil gave her some friendly advice. After a few more subjects were explored and exhausted, Phil finally got to the question he had danced around for several minutes – pretty much the same question all financial advisors eventually ask: “So what’s the long-term plan? Where do you want to be in 10 to 20 years?”

Even though she wasn’t willing to be specific, she felt there was nothing wrong with giving him a few basics, so she began to answer in generic terms.

“Wait a second. Let me write this down, so I don’t forget,” Phil said, while reaching into his bag and pulling out a pen and some sort of official-looking form.

Now if you’re like Kathy, you appreciate it when people you meet put the energy into taking a few notes. After all, it demonstrates they’re listening. Some people take notes to remember things, while others use note-taking as learning reinforcement – writing it down to help lock things into memory.

While it seemed a bit odd to Kathy that Phil would use an organized document to take casual notes, she continued to share the not-too-detailed version of her story as Phil wrote.

Fully 20 minutes of interviewing later, Kathy learned the reason for her earlier unease with Phil. He sat with pen poised over a set of boxes on his form and asked: “And what’s your Social Security number?”

“Excuse me?” she replied.

“I’ll need your Social Security number to complete the application for our firm to represent you,” Phil said with a slight tone of what-part-of-this-confuses-you in his voice.

“I’m not here to sign up with your firm. I asked you to a cup of coffee, so we could learn about each other’s businesses, not to change financial advisors,” Kathy said emphatically.

During the next few moments, Kathy sat, jaw agape, as Phil tore the form in half, stood up, grabbed his briefcase, stepped toward the door and angrily grumbled over his shoulder, “Thank you so [bleep]ing much for wasting my time!”


You’re known by the company you keep.


It actually is a jungle out there, so keep your eyes and ears open as you Stalk your Tigers. In fact, in the late 1990s, I saw a Gallup poll that claimed four of every 100 people are blatantly untrustworthy. (I’m guessing Phil is in that 4 percent.)

As you build relationships, always remember that you’ll be known by the company you keep. Bagging a major Tiger might seem like a good idea, until you realize that Tiger is known for his ugly stripes, and those stripes are now coloring you.

Resources

I am not the originator of any concept in this book. I am a consummate observer and a student who is grateful to the many experts, authors and trainers who have shared this information with me over the years and worked to make sure the concepts got through my thick scull. As a tribute to these experts, I would like to enthusiastically introduce some to you now.

Remember earlier where I explained my utilitarian nature? I mentioned how I would read a book, remember key concepts, but not remember the name of the book or the author?

The fact that I remember the people who follow is actually quite significant. It means that their concepts were so powerful or life-affecting that I retained not only the ideologies but the names of their creators.

Also, please note that the order of the following resources has nothing to do with their importance – all of them are Tigers in my eyes.

Authors

“INFLUENCE: Science and Practice,” by Robert B. Cialdini

In this informative book, Robert describes his six “Weapons of Influence” and shares the volumes of research he conducted while developing these concepts. I told stories using all six concepts throughout this booklet, but do not let that stop you from buying a copy of the book and reading it for yourself.

My relationship with Robert is an example of my being at the stage of being connected to a Tiger. I receive his regular email updates and have been following and recommending the man and his ideas for 15 or more years. But to my knowledge, Robert doesn’t even know my name.

“Endless Referrals,” by Bob Burg

The entire Stalking Tigers series was in part inspired by this book in which Bob explains an end-to-end system for building relationships with influential people, with the end-game goal of getting referrals.

In his book, Bob discusses posture (more effectively and thoroughly than I did in chapter 16). He also describes the relationships you can build that give you insights into how influential people think. Finally, the processes contained in his book can be easily adapted to Tiger-stalking, as Bob and I share the philosophy of always providing value. “Endless Referrals” is based on that philosophy.

Bob is also a friend.

“Wizard of Ads,” by Roy Williams

There are actually three “Wizard” books in Roy’s series, and I recommend them all. It was those books that inspired me to tell a bunch of stories in this book, instead of writing a few long chapters explaining dry concepts. I’m not in the Wizard’s league when it comes to wordsmithery, but I’m hoping I did his inspiration justice.

Roy’s wisdom can also be found in his www.mondaymorningmemo.com email – I suggest you seek it out. (Make it a point to find Indy’s rabbit holes and follow them to their ends. [You’ll understand once you see the emails.])

Assessments

The majority of my experience with psychology, personality, affective and conative behavior, and goal orientation is derived from four key assessment tools:

  • DISC (Dominance, Inducement, Submission, Compliance) – This behavior-assessment tool is based on the DISC psychology theory of William Marston.
  • MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator) – This assessment is a psychometric questionnaire designed to measure psychological preferences in how people perceive the world and make decisions.
  • Kolbe A – Different from other assessments, Kolbe A doesn’t measure how smart you are (thinking) or what your personality is like (feeling); it measures how you naturally take action (doing).
  • SalesKey – Based on the research of Dr. Dave Barnett, a leader in the study of individual productivity and career development since 1993, SalesKey challenges the notion that only personality factors are stable and predictable enough for study across time and occupations. SalesKey’s psychodynamic Four Levels Model was a breakthrough in the field of sales productivity.

The Remaining Stalking Tigers Books

In the first three books of this series, I have focused on the foundational principles of Tiger-stalking, explained the basic concept of moving people through the Intimacy Hierarchy, and finished with what goes on inside people’s heads.

The remaining books will be where the boot meets the trail, and the real work of Stalking Tigers happens. So get your malaria shot, lace up your boots and grab your bug spray!

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